


Wine Tasting

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [94]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting Together, Meeting the Parents, Multi, New Years, Texting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:16:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9140626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: johnn: you're going to do finelittle lion: I would loVE TO BELIEVE YOU BUT AT THE SAME TIME





	

**johnn** : alex love please  
  
**little lion** : THOMAS IS COMING TO PICK ME UP IN LITERALLY A HALF HOUR AND IM NOT AT ALL PACKED BC SOME PEOPLE HERE (I.E., ALL OF YOU) HAVE NO CHILL SO I COULDNT PACK BEFORE WORK  
  
**johnn** : you look so beautiful in the morning I just???  
  
**little lion** : you're cute and I love you but also we were late to work, my legs are still shaky even though it's been nine hours, and I didn't have Any time to pack so now I'm stressing  
  
**johnn** : love you too  
  
**little lion** : omg  
  
**johnn** : you're going to do fine  
  
**little lion** : I would loVE TO BELIEVE YOU BUT AT THE SAME TIME  
  
**johnn** : you met hercules' parents and they love you, you can handle this  
  
**little lion** : hERCULES PARENTS ARE NICE WITH A CUTE LITTLE YELLOW HOUSE AND TWO KIDS THAT ARE INCREDIBLY NICE JUST LIKE THEIR PREDECESSORS  
  
**little lion** : THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, IN VIRGINIA, WITH SEVEN OF HIS SIBLINGS  
  
**little lion** : AND I HAD YOU GUYS AT HERCULES' HOUSE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I really want to cuddle you rn but I don't think we have the time  
  
**little lion** : WE DO N T  
  
**laf** : are you actually going to be okay though  
  
**little lion** : IDK IDK IDK  
  
**laf** : can I like,,,,,talk to jefferson,,,,,,abt taking care of you  
  
**little lion** : you make me sound like a plant  
  
**little lion** : yes, you can, also also ask him if he has a bathtub please bc if he does I'm packing bubble bath and dying at his house  
  
**laf** : will do  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : listen  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ???  
  
**laf** : you have to take care of alex while he's at your house  
  
**laf** : like idk that seems weird bc like haha he's an ""Adult"" but like he's so stressed about this  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I will  
  
**laf** : and yes we trust you but like at the same time if you Don't take care of alex, we will kill you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : if I didn't take care of alex then I would deserve it  
  
**laf** : perfect  
  
**laf** : also he wants to know if you have a bathtub  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yeah there's a really big one in my bathroom  
  
**laf** : okay bc he said he's packing bubble bath and dying at your house  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh god  
  
**laf** : yeah,,,,  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : can you tell him we might be late bc james is stressing about packing and he's dying  
  
**laf** : alex is Also dying about packing  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'll fix this  
  
**laf** : godspeed  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : OKAY SO YOU NEED LIKE A FANCY OUTFIT TO GO TO DINNER WITH MY MOM IN  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND ALSO LIKE PAJAMAS AND NORMAL CLOTHES  
  
**jmadzzz** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN DINNER WITH YOUR MOM  
  
**little lion** : OH MY GOD IM GOING TO DIE  
  
**jmadzzz** : ARE WE BOTH GOING OR ARE THESE LIKE ONE ON ONE INTERROGATIONS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOURE BOTH GOING  
  
**little lion** : WE NEED TO COLOR COORDINATE  
  
**jmadzzz** : I HAVE DARK PURPLE  
  
**little lion** : I HAVE DARK GREEN  
  
**jmadzzz** : THAT WORKS  
  
**little lion** : OKAY SO THATS SETTLED  
  
**little lion** : SO WHAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES AS ""NORMAL CLOTHES""  
  
**jmadzzz** : TRUE TBH LIKE WHAT ARE WE D O I N G WHEN WE GET TO YOUR HOUSE  
  
**little lion** : !!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WE USUALLY DO NOTHING ON NEW YEARS AND JUST WATCH THE BALL DROP AND EAT FOOD  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I THINK TOMORROW YOURE GOING TO DINNER WITH MY MOTHER  
  
**jmadzzz** : IM GOING TO DIE  
  
**little lion** : S AM E  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THEN IDK WHATS HAPPENING ALL DAY ON MONDAY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THEN WE ALL COME HOME  
  
**little lion** : WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT IT MAKES IT A LOT EASIER TO FORGET THAT ITS THREE WHOLE DAYS  
  
**jmadzzz** : RT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I  
  
**little lion** : DO I HAVE TO WEAR PANTS IN BED  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : thats,,,,mostly a question for james,,,,bc you know I'm fine with it,,,but idk if he is  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'm fine with it  
  
**little lion** : are you sure??  
  
**jmadzzz** : yeah  
  
**little lion** : OKAY GREAT  
  
**little lion** : MORE ROOM FOR BUBBLE BATH  
  
**jmadzzz** : I  
  
**little lion** : IT HELPS ME UNWI N D  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you sure you're gonna be okay with it??  
  
**jmadzzz** : of course  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : he has really nice thighs I don't think you're Ready  
  
**jmadzzz** : I??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : re al l y nice  
  
**jmadzzz** : I just heard you swallow from here  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : h ah a  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : f u c k his thighs  
  
**jmadzzz** : ANYWAY  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : I still can't believe mulligan made us sweaters for christmas like I???  
  
**little lion** : he's just  
  
**little lion** : very cute and sweet and I love him sm  
  
**little lion** : ALSO I HAVE LIKE FOUR NICE SHIRTS PACKED FOR THIS AND THEN LIKE SEVEN SWEATERS IS THAT NORMAL??  
  
**jmadzzz** : I THINK I HAVE EIGHT??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WE'RE GOING TO BE THERE FOR FOUR DAYS  
  
**jmadzzz** : ,,,,SO??  
  
**little lion** : YOUR POINT??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : why do you hurt me like this  
  
**jmadzzz** : says the person who ran to my office sobbing for twenty minutes after alex gave you a sweater for christmas  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : HUSHSHSHHSHS  
  
**little lion** : YOU CRIED OVER THAT??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YE S  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU GAVE ME A SWEATER!! AND YOU LOOKED SO SCARED AND THEN YOU HAD TO LEAVE BC YOU HAD A MEETING AND YOU KISSED ME AND YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME AND I JUST??? LOVE YOU SM AND ITS SUCH A CUTE SWEATER AND I JSUT  
  
**little lion** : I PACKED THE ONE THAT MATCHES IT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I PACKED IT AND THE ONE HERCULES MADE ME  
  
**jmadzzz** : you're going to steal mine aren't you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : aw  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'm locking my suitcase  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : J A M ES  
  
**little lion** : HA  
  
**jmadzzz** : OKAY WE'RE PACKED LETS GO PICK UP ALEX  
  
**little lion** : SHIT I HAVE TO FINISH PACKING  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : GODSPEED LOVE  
  
**little lion** : TY  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : we're here!!  
  
**little lion** : I NEED LIKE FIVE MORE MINUTES TO MAKE OUT WITH HERCULES  
  
**jmadzzz** : I  
  
**little lion** : I JSUT???  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : I miss alex already  
  
**laf** : same  
  
**more like HUNKules** : same  
  
**little lion** : omg I literally just got into the elevator  
  
**laf** : but you look so cute  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and we won't get to see you for FOUR DAYS  
  
**johnn** : and!! when you come back it won't be until Super Late at night and we won't get to see you bc we'll be asleep  
  
**little lion** : I'm going to miss you too loves omg  
  
**laf** : have a good time at thomas' though!!  
  
**johnn** : don't let yourself stress too much!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we love you!!  
  
**little lion** : omg I love you too  
  
**little lion** : and I make no promises on stressing  
  
**johnn** : alex p l e as e  
  
**little lion** : haha gotta go I see the car lmao  
  
**johnn** : oh m y god  
  
**laf** : I'm so worried  
  
**johnn** : same  
  
**more like HUNKules** : s a m e  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : james has the aux cord and he's screaming bc the only thing that will play is 2006 era beyonce and I'm sobbing  
  
**more like HUNKules** : honestly though that was an amazing time for her  
  
**little lion** : RIGHT  
  
**little lion** : thomas is driving talking abt how cute we are and I'm going to kill him soon  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm looking forward to messages like these  
  
**little lion** : r u d e  
  
**little lion** : james is also sitting in the backseat bc him and thomas didn't want me to ""feel excluded"" and I want to die  
  
**more like HUNKules** : omg  
  
**little lion** : I'm so tired but at the same time I don't want to sleep  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rest love  
  
**little lion** : ughhghuhghgh  
  
**more like HUNKules** : please  
  
**little lion** : fine  
  
**little lion** : love you!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : FIRST STOP  
  
**laf** : did you just wake up  
  
**little lion** : yes and I regret it but I also want cheese curls and lemonade and I need to buy a phone charger bc I forgot mine at home so I accepted it  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**little lion** : what are you doing at the Homestead  
  
**laf** : /I/  
  
**laf** : harry potter is on rn so I'm watching that while hercules and john make porkchops  
  
**laf** : I would help but I don't,,,,,want,,,,,,,,,,to  
  
**little lion** : THERES A LIQUOR STORE RIGHT NEXT TO THIS GAS STATION  
  
**laf** : why would you do that to yourself  
  
**little lion** : I REALLY WANT WINE  
  
**little lion** : ME AND JAMES ARE RU N NIN G INTO THE STORE  
  
**little lion** : THOMAS IS BUYING ME LEMONADE AND CHEESE CURLS AND HE KISSED ME BEFORE I RAN I LOVE HIM  
  
**laf** : you've been gone for an hour and it's already Wild  
  
**laf** : and r e al l y cute if I'm being honest  
  
**little lion** : wine!! wine!! wine!!  
  
**laf** : I love you  
  
**little lion** : omg it's not the time bc I'm ""Shopping"" but I literally love you so much thank you so much for being so supportive of me dating thomas and you're so amazing and I'm so happy that I get to love you and I'm so grateful for that thank you so much  
  
**laf** : omg alex  
  
**laf** : honey  
  
**little lion** : !!!I just!!!  
  
**laf** : we love you sm  
  
**laf** : of course we're going to support you omg we're your spouses  
  
**little lion** : I'm really emo rn  
  
**little lion** : I love you too!!  
  
**laf** : <3 <3 <3  
  
**little lion** : <3 <3 <3  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'm coming into the liquor store  
  
**little lion** : omg no  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I caNT GET DRUNK FROM BREATHING IN THERE AND PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME WEIRD BC IM SITTING IN MY CAR ALONE IM COM IN G IN  
  
**little lion** : FI NE  
  
**jmadzzz** : should we buy like,,,wine,,,or smth,,,,for your mom??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : my mom only drinks vodka and even then it's kinda rare  
  
**little lion** : getting her vodka seems kind of inappropriate tho  
  
**jmadzzz** : agreed  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : it's your choice I have to drive for five more hours  
  
**little lion** : james can you reach the top shelf  
  
**jmadzzz** : probably  
  
**little lion** : can you get that bottle  
  
**jmadzzz** : yeah  
  
**little lion** : thank you  
  
**jmadzzz** : no problem  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : OH  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : OH OH OH  
  
**jmadzzz** : ???  
  
**jmadzzz** : now whenever you leave that chat to go into our private chat I'm gonna start to get worried  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : @@ALEX  
  
**jmadzzz** : thomas  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : !!!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THAT LOOK  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THOSE EYES  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THAT SMILE  
  
**jmadzzz** : are you okay  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU LIKE HIM  
  
**jmadzzz** : no I don't  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU ABSOLUTELY DO  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : IVE SPENT A DECADE STUDYING HOW YOU LOOK AT PEOPLE YOU LIKE AND THATS THE LOOK!!  
  
**jmadzzz** : THE ONLY PEOPLE IVE EVER LOOKED AT ARE YOU  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : A N D ALEX  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND !!EXACTLY!! YOUVE SPENT A DECADE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT WHICH MAKES ME THE MOST QUALIFIED TO KNOW  
  
**jmadzzz** : I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON ALEX  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : it's okay if you do yknow  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : in addition to being the Most Qualified at noticing your Looks, I'm also Qualified in denying crushes on alexander  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and I know you james  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : if I never noticed you looking at him, you would have never said anything, bc you don't want to Hurt anyone  
  
**jmadzzz** : false  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you had a crush on me for nine years and in the end I had to confess my love you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I made out with you on christmas eve one year ago and you still kind of didn't get it until I Explained It To You  
  
**jmadzzz** : wow okay I'm being dragged  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and when I had a crush on alex, you had to push me to admit it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : so now I'm pushing you  
  
**jmadzzz** : just  
  
**jmadzzz** : I don't  
  
**jmadzzz** : I didn't want it to happen  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you never do tbh but then it happens!! and it's like holy shit!! bc alex is amazing and lovely and beautiful and oh my god you like him I'm so excited  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'm blushing so hard in this fucking liquor store please stop talking about this  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you can't even tell when you blush  
  
**jmadzzz** : I CAN  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : CAN WE TELL HIM  
  
**jmadzzz** : NO  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WE HAVE TO  
  
**jmadzzz** : N O  
  
**jmadzzz** : ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW WEEKS WE CANT FUCKIGN TELL HIM  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : A FEW WEEKS??????  
  
**jmadzzz** : since,,,,the ball,,,,,,,when we were talking to him,,,,,,,and I was like Wow,,,,,I can see how thomas likes him,,,,,,and then I was like haha okay fuck,,,,,,  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME??  
  
**jmadzzz** : HES /YOUR/BOYFRIEND  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND YOURE MY /FIANCE/ AND YOU CAN TRUST ME TO KEEP ALL OF YOUR SECRET CRUSHES SECRET  
  
**jmadzzz** : I DIDNT W AN T TO TELL YOU BC I THOUGHT IT WOULD GO AWAY BY NOW AND I DIDNT WANT YOU TO START SECOND GUESSING ANYTHING BC YOU GET !!! ANXIOUS !!! ABOUT THOSE THINGS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : JA M ES  
  
**jmadzzz** : TH O MA S  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : NO LITERALLY THOUGH THIS COULD TOTALLY WORK AND WE COULD BE V CUTE TOGETHER AND I WONT HAVE TO SLEEP IN ONE POSITION FOR THREE NIGHTS BC YOU COULD CUDDLE AND I COULD HOVER OVER THE BED AND TAKE PICTURES OF IT  
  
**jmadzzz** : I feel like in the last three seconds you've created a paradise dream world that Will Never Happen  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I HAVE AND ITS G L O R I O U S  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : OMG AND WE COULD HAVE SLEEPOVERS TOGETHER AND WATCH RUPAULS DRAG RACE AND WATCH KATYA GET ROBBED IN ALL STARS 2  
  
**jmadzzz** : you're not helping me rn  
  
**jmadzzz** : besides, who said his signifs are okay with this?? who said Alex is okay with this??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I COULD TO T ALLY SEE ALEX LIKING YOU  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOURE SWEET AND NICE AND HE NEVER REALLY DIDNT LIKE YOU IT WAS JUST BC HE WASNT THAT FOND OF ME BC I WAS AN ASS TO HIM  
  
**jmadzzz** : you apologized love he knows you're sorry  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I STILL DONT LIKE THINKING ABT IT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HAVE TO BC I HAVE TO ACCEPT IT AND THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENED AND THAT IM BETTER NOW  
  
**jmadzzz** : he loves you  
  
**jmadzzz** : I love you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU COULD LOVE ALEX TOO IF YOU WANTED  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : PLUS IF HIS SIGNIFS LET HIM DATE ME, ACTUAL ON FIRE GARBAGE CAN, THEYLL T O T A L L Y LET HIM DATE YOU IF HE WANTS TO  
  
**jmadzzz** : his signifs scare me sm though  
  
**jmadzzz** : they're like three ethereal dieties,,,,,that will kill me bc I like their husband,,,,,,that could Get Away With killing me bc I like their husband  
  
**jmadzzz** : they're so scary holy shit I just thought about it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh my g o d  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : hercules knitted you a sweater for christmas and you think he's gonna kill you??  
  
**jmadzzz** : never underestimate a man who works with needles  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : omg  
  
**jmadzzz** : also alex is going to pay for this wine  
  
**jmadzzz** : we're going with him, we're getting back in the car, and you're going to keep driving so we can't talk about this  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : he's super tired rn so I would say we could talk abt it while he sleeps but he's a really light sleeper so Nevermind  
  
**jmadzzz** : HE JUST PAID FOR THE WINE  
  
**jmadzzz** : WE ARE GETTING BACK IN THE CAR NOW  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : maybe we can establish an elaborate system of hand signals to communicate  
  
**jmadzzz** : IN THE CAR  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : FINE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : thomas and james are texting each other rn and I'm going to kill them bc thomas looks ~~sly~~ and james looks really flustered and I Can't stay in my own lane so I Need to know what they're talking about  
  
**laf** : probably abt how cute you look when you're tired  
  
**little lion** : I am nOt tired  
  
**johnn** : but you are cute  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
**little lion** : HUSH  
  
**little lion** : I am Awake and ready to get TIPSY as SHIT  
  
**laf** : we all know that you're going to take like one sip and then pass tf out  
  
**more like HUNKules** : or fall asleep before you even get to take one sip  
  
**little lion** : LET ME  D R E AM  
  
**more like HUNKules** : anything for you love  
  
**little lion** : I want to kiss you all so BAD right now  
  
**laf** : are you already drunk?  
  
**little lion** : NO WE'RE OPENING THE BOTTLES NOW AND THOMAS IS ROLLING HIS EYES BC HES JEALOUS  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**little lion** : BUT HES ALSO STILL REALLY SLY ABT SMTH AND HE KEEPS FUCKING SMILING AT ME LIKE HE KNOWS SOMETHING  
  
**johnn** : alex p l e a s e  
  
**little lion** : IM GONNA FIND OUT  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,,AFTER I GET DRUNK  
  
**johnn** : oh my g o d  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : STOP TWO  
  
**little lion** : IM HALF ASLEEP, KIND OF TIPSY, MY LEGS ARE KIND OF HALF IN JAMES' LAP AND HE JUST KIND OF ACCEPTS THEM THERE  
  
**little lion** : AND WE STILL HAVE TWO MORE HOURS  
  
**little lion** : THOMAS IS GETTING ME MORE CHEESE CURLS I LOVE HIM  
  
**johnn** : this is so cute I love you so much  
  
**little lion** : I love you too!!  
  
**little lion** : also we've been apart for three hours and I already miss you so much  
  
**johnn** : we miss you too  
  
**johnn** : hercules and lafayette are hardcore making out though and I want In  
  
**little lion** : kiss them for me!!  
  
**johnn** : I will!!  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay so alex told me what you're doing rn but I have a question and it's v important  
  
**laf** : we're here now  
  
**johnn** : I'm already worried  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I am also here now  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay so,,,,,,history is repeating itself  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and,,,,,james has a crush on alex,,,,,,  
  
**more like HUNKules** : honestly should we be concerned abt alex being a siren  
  
**johnn** : probably  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and I know it's not necessarily my Place(??) to ask you?? but like  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : if alex is okay with it and if you're okay with it Can it happen??  
  
**johnn** : okay first of all it is Totally your Place to ask us  
  
**laf** : alex is every part your signif as he is ours  
  
**more like HUNKules** : he loves us all the same despite who he's loved the longest  
  
**johnn** : and the other person you're asking about is literally your fiancé  
  
**laf** : and if alex is okay with it we're fine  
  
**johnn** : plus I'm more comfortable bc it's james and that way you'd all be a cute lil poly triangle  
  
**laf** : same  
  
**johnn** : hopefully a poly triangle that sends me CUTE PICTURES  
  
**more like HUNKules** : j o h n  
  
**johnn** : NO DEADASS I MEAN IT  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : thanks,,,,btw  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : for saying the stuff abt saying how alex is every part my signif as he is yours idk that's just important to me idk  
  
**laf** : of course it is  
  
**laf** : you love him just like we do  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : also I know what you said but you've been dating alex longer so you know him better  
  
**laf** : yeah we can't,,,,,,,,deny that one  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : how do I go about this  
  
**johnn** : oh we don't know  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yeah the way we got together was a mess, the way you two got together was a mess, we're really unexperienced in this field  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh my god pray for me  
  
**johnn** : have fun in That bed tonight  
  
**laf** : speaking of can we go to bed  
  
**johnn** : yeah  
  
**more like HUNKules** : let's go  
  
**laf** : good luck thomas  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THANK YOU  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : we're going to bed now goodnight alex!!  
  
**little lion** : goodnight!! I love you!!  
  
**johnn** : we love you too!! we miss you!!  
  
**little lion** : !!! I miss you too !!!  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : alex!!  
  
**little lion** : private chat!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : what are your thoughts on james??  
  
**little lion** : I??  
  
**little lion** : why??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay let's say hypothetically  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : that I want me, you, and james to all date like as a cute lil triangle  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : would that,,,,,is that something you'd be up for  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : if your signifs were okay with it  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : uhm I uh  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : it's okay if you're not  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : it's okay if you are  
  
**little lion** : I mean??  
  
**little lion** : idk??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you don't have to answer right now I can just get back in the car and drive and we don't have to talk about it  
  
**little lion** : I mean  
  
**little lion** : I wouldn't mind it?? james is nice and Good to you and I wouldn't,,,Hate that?? dating him?? idk I'm not gOOD UNDER PRESSURE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you're incredible under pressure love  
  
**little lion** : NOT WHEN IT COMES TO DATING MORE PEOPLE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you don't have to love!! I was just asking  
  
**little lion** : you were 100% not Just Asking  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : I wouldn't dislike dating james, but I haven't seriously thought about it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : have you casually thought about it??  
  
**little lion** : he's dating you and he looks like That  
  
**little lion** : of course I have  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : omg  
  
**little lion** : just  
  
**little lion** : if my signifs were okay with it, if james was okay with it, and if the offer was On the table  
  
**little lion** : I wouldn't say no  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay  
  
**little lion** : wait wait  
  
**little lion** : wait are you actually going to try and make this happen  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I,,,,really don't need to try that hard  
  
**little lion** : ???  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,,  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : nevermind  
  
**little lion** : you scare me so much  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'm gonna keep driving  
  
**little lion** : DO YOU HAVE MY CHEESE CURLS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yes love  
  
**little lion** : OH MY GOD I LVOE YOU S O MUCH  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : !!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : holy shit we're here  
  
**little lion** : since??? when????  
  
**jmadzzz** : you fell asleep after the second stop  
  
**jmadzzz** : we had to pull over bc thomas was crying abt it and couldn't see the road  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : why do you have to expose me like this  
  
**jmadzzz** : because I had to sit in the backseat with only the sound of your quiet sobbing for 15 minutes  
  
**little lion** : oh my god??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I just??  
  
**little lion** : your driveway is so big I hate this  
  
**jmadzzz** : same  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : fuck  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : fuck fuck fuc k fucufkcukfkcufkuckufc  
  
**jmadzzz** : ???  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : my kitchen light is on  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : which means my mom is awake  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and not only is she awake, we're late, and I don't have the energy for this  
  
**jmadzzz** : FUCK  
  
**little lion** : IM NOT READY FOR THIS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you look s o cute though  
  
**little lion** : THAT DOESNT HE LP ME  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : s   o cute  
  
**little lion** : GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY HIPS IM DYING  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : fine  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay here we go  
  
**jmadzzz** : f u c k  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : I want to cry rn  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : why bc alex is talking to my mom and older sisters and he's just so cute that your crush is intensifying tenfold and you can't handle that??  
  
**jmadzzz** : I still think that he should never find out about this and that it's too soon to tell him ever but yeah that's kind of what's happening  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : no omg bc I don't think we're doing anything  tomorrow so we could go on a date!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : we cOULD GO WINE TASTING  
  
**jmadzzz** : I??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : NO LITERALLY OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WE CAN DRESS KIND OF FANCY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND WE'D LOOK SO CUTE AND I WOULD JUST CRY BC I COULD DRINK WINE AND WATCH THE TWO PEOPLE THAT I LOVE S O MUCH FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!! AND THEN WE COULD NOT DRIVE HOME AND CUDDLE IN THE BACKSEAT AND BE LIKE KIND OF DRUNK AND THEN GO HOME AND JUST LAY IN BED AND LOCK THE DOOR SO NOBODY COMES IN AND JUST SLEEP AND IT WOULD BE SO CUTE IF DIE  
  
**jmadzzz** : me and alex have dinner with your mother tomorrow  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : my mom said it was monday  
  
**jmadzzz** : I didn't hear her  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'm so tired  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : well idk when they're gonna let us go to bed so I'll pray  
  
**jmadzzz** : thanks  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : your sisters are so nice!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you're so fucking CUTE  
  
**little lion** : THOMAS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : SORRY YOU JUST YAWNED AND IM IN LOVE  
  
**little lion** : I LOOK LIKE IM OPENING THE GATES TO THE V OI D WHEN I YAWN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WE AGREE TO DISAGREE ON THIS THEN BUT ANYWAY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I think they liked you  
  
**little lion** : I don't think they were expecting me to be this small though  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you wear it well  
  
**little lion** : can we sleep now  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yes  
  
**little lion** : woOOoooo  
  
\---  
  
**Mary** : your boyfriend is so cute!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh my god let me SLEEP  
  
**Mary** : I will stab you let me gush  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : e w  
  
**Mary** : I wasn't expecting him to be so short nor was I expecting him to be nice...I thought he would be like your height and kind of an ass but he wasn't and I'm impressed  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yes alexander is amazing and very cute and I love him SO much but literally I've been driving for six hours while they drank wine in the backseat and I would just like to go to bed can't we have this conversation in the morning  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : also what kind of people do you think I'm attracted to I have standards  
  
**Mary** : more importantly, mom likes him  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : IM AWAKE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : REALLY  
  
**Mary** : yeah she's talking about him right now and said that he seems like a fine man for you to be dating  
  
**Mary** : I think she's kind of surprised that you would date him though  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : whAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO YOU THINK I FALL IN LOVE WITH  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : LIKE MY TYPE IS LITERALLY "CUTE, SOFT PEOPLE WHO ARE INCREDIBLY GOOD TO ME THAT HAVE LIKE,,,,EXTENSIVE SWEATER COLLECTIONS AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHARM ME BY JUST BEING IN A ROOM""  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND YOU THREE SEEM TO HAVE THE IDEA THAT I DATE MONSTERS  
  
**Mary** : you've never been the best at making good decisions  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : LISTEN  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : SKATEBOARDING WAS A P H A S E  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD DISGRACE THE FAMILY  
  
**Mary** : you knew  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I WAS FIFTEEN LET ME L I V E  
  
**Mary** : absolutely never  
  
**Mary** : also james is as nice as ever! he did seem kind of quiet though and mom is concerned about that but I told her he's probably just tired and she believed me  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : he's e x h a u s t e d  
  
**Mary** : yeah I could see it  
  
**Mary** : and I have a question  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : we're past mom's approval of alex and I'm back to being half asleep so make it quick  
  
**Mary** : james and alex aren't dating right? like it's just you and alex and then you and james  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I don't know  
  
**Mary** : what do you mean you don't know you either are or you aren't  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I don't. K n o w.  
  
**Mary** : ???? that makes no sense  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : GOODNIGHT  
  
**Mary** : this conversation isn't over  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : GOOD  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : NIGHT  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : now you have me thinking about this fucking poly triangle why do you do this to me  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : sorry??  
  
**little lion** : it doesn't help that my legs are touching his  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : omg do you like james  
  
**little lion** : NOW THAT YOUVE PUT THE IDEA IN MY HEAD  
  
**little lion** : ITS A P FUCKING STRONG MAYBE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : think abt it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : my mom said you're not going to dinner until monday so tomorrow we could find a way to get out of being with my family and we could go on a date and be so cute!! and we could dress kind of fancy and even though you both drank wine in my car we could go wine tasting and sit at one of those tables and just talk to each other bc I love you so much and I love james so much and if you two loved each other that'd be so cute  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : but again still and I Mean It when I say that if you Don't want that then that's completely fine with me and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way but I also want you to tell me if you do  
  
**little lion** : I love you and I'm thinking about it I just don't know rn  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : take all the time you need  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and I love you too  
  
**little lion** : can we sleep  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : kiss me first?  
  
**little lion** : of course love  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : we'RE AWAKE  
  
**little lion** : haha I have something to tell you  
  
**laf** : is this abt the james having a crush on you thing??  
  
**little lion** : WHAT  
  
**laf** : WHAT  
  
**little lion** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN JAMES HAS A CRUSH ON ME  
  
**laf** : what,,,,,,,  
  
**laf** : what were you talking about??  
  
**little lion** : THOMAS WAS LIKE ""HYPOTHETICALLY LETS SAY I WANTED YOU,ME, AND JAMES TO DATE WOULD YOU BE UP FOR THAT"" AND I WAS LIKE IDK AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT BC YOURE MY SPOUSES AND I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ALREADY WENT TO BED SO I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL NOW  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**little lion** : HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW JAMES HAS A CRUSH ON ME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THOMAS TOLD US  
  
**little lion** : WHAT THE FUCK  
  
**laf** : aw that's cute though he was protecting james  
  
**little lion** : okay fine that's cute  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we're okay with you dating james btw  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we are For the poly triangle  
  
**johnn** : however, and I made this point to thomas, I WANT CUTE PICTURES  
  
**little lion** : oh my g o d  
  
**laf** : so are you gonna go for it??  
  
**little lion** : I don't know!!  
  
**laf** : that's fine!! take your time love!!  
  
**little lion** : I have the most amazing signifs on the planet I'm so happy I love you all so much  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we love you too!!  
  
**little lion** : ALSO THERES SO MANY PEOPLE AND SO MUCH BREAKFAST FOOD  
  
**little lion** : SO MANY WAFFLES IM IN HEAVEN  
  
**johnn** : omg  
  
**little lion** : I GOTTA GO  
  
**laf** : bye love!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : have fun!!  
  
**little lion** : !!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : UPDATE: FUCK  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ho n e y  
  
**little lion** : SO I PUT MY PHONE DOWN AND THOMAS WAS LIKE ""texting your spouses??"" AND I WAS LIKE YEAH BC I WAS AND THEN HIS OLDER SISTER JANE GOES ""wait you're married??"" AND I HAD TO EXPLAIN IT  
  
**little lion** : AND IM STILL NOT EMBARRASSED OF OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT TALKING ABOUT IT TO PEOPLE WHO COULD POSSIBLY JUDGE YOU FOR IT IS EMBARRASSING  
  
**more like HUNKules** : omg  
  
**little lion** : OH IT DOESNT STOP THERE  
  
**little lion** : AND SO I TELL HER AND SHE GOES ""so you're dating your three fiances and then thomas and james??"" AND NONE OF US KNOW HOW TO ANSWER  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH MY G O D  
  
**little lion** : AND THEN HIS oTHER oLDER sISTER, MARY, IS LIKE "SO ANYWAY" WHICH MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS BC SHE SAID IT KNOWINGLY AND I REALLY DONT LIKE FEELING LIKE EVERYONE KNOWS SOMETHING I DONT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : talk to thomas about it then  
  
**little lion** : I WILL BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME BC WE'RE STILL EATING BREAKFAST  
  
**more like HUNKules** : good luck  
  
**little lion** : I love you!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : if they try and feed me any more food I'm going to explode  
  
**little lion** : I'm going to die here  
  
**little lion** : filled with waffles and surprisingly, not that much regret  
  
**jmadzzz** : I  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I already want to go back so sleep  
  
**little lion** : same  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : there's snacks in the living room though  
  
**jmadzzz** : w h y  g o d  
  
**little lion** : how does your family dO THIS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : it's really only on new years  
  
**jmadzzz** : no it's not and you know it's not  
  
**jmadzzz** : picture it, summer 2007  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay and we're going into the golden girls now  
  
**little lion** : I FUCKING LOVE THE GOLDEN GIRLS  
  
**jmadzzz** : SAME  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : unbelievable  
  
**jmadzzz** : ANYWAY  
  
**jmadzzz** : SO BASICALLY THOMAS IS LIKE,,,,,,,,,""JAMES,,,YOU SHOULD JUST,,,LIVE IN MY HOUSE,,,,FOR LIKE A WEEK,,,SO WE COULD HANG OUT"" AND IM JUST WHIPPED AND ALREADY IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HES SO RIDICULOUS SO I AGREE  
  
**jmadzzz** : I GET THERE LIKE AFTER LUNCH BUT BEFORE DINNER  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay I remember this story now  
  
**jmadzzz** : YEAH  
  
**jmadzzz** : SO BASICALLY DINNER HAPPENS AND THERES SO MUCH FUCKING FOOD  
  
**jmadzzz** : LIKE THE PLATES CAN BARELY FIT ON THE TABLE ITS S O MUCH FOOD  
  
**jmadzzz** : AND SO IM LIKE EATING AND FUCKIGN  
  
**jmadzzz** : HIS MOM GOES  
  
**jmadzzz** : ""I'm so sorry that I didn't have more food made, I didn't know you were coming""  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and at that point I Watched the fear just,,,,pool in his eyes  
  
**jmadzzz** : AND THERE WERE N O LEFTOVERS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,,I have no excuse  
  
**jmadzzz** : IT WAS THE MOST TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE  
  
**little lion** : amazing  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : THERE ARE GRAPES IN THE LIVING ROOM  
  
**little lion** : red ones or green ones  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : BOTH  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,omw  
  
**jmadzzz** : same  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : if alex dates james then I'll be the only one of alex's signifs that don't look like another one of his signifs  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : I want a divorce  
  
**johnn** : I'm right though  
  
**little lion** : I understand that but I don't like it  
  
**johnn** : omg  
  
**little lion** : also you all started calling james and thomas by their first name idk if you noticed but I did  
  
**johnn** : oh  
  
**johnn** : okay that's fine it feel natural  
  
**little lion** : are you guys going to the schuyler's tonight or??  
  
**johnn** : I think we plan to stay here?? idk laf looks like they're planning something  
  
**laf** : honestly?? I 100% just want to stay inside and make out  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay  
  
**more like HUNKules** : a c t like you weren't just trying to find lube with glitter in it online  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**johnn** : SCREAMS  
  
**laf** : what a way to ring in the new year though  
  
**little lion** : oh my g o  d  
  
**laf** : sue me for having dreams  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
**laf** : also no seriously now that my plan has been shot down  
  
**laf** : stay inside and make out is a p good plan  
  
**johnn** : we can watch the ball drop  
  
**more like HUNKules** : can we watch 13 going on 30  
  
**laf** : yES  
  
**little lion** : I miss you all so much  
  
**little lion** : and I know I'm having a good time here but like still I miss you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that's fine  
  
**johnn** : we miss you too  
  
**laf** : okay so I found lube that's not Glittery but it's like iridescent  
  
**johnn** : oh my gOD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : LA  F AYET TE  
  
**laf** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**laf** : IM NOT HEARING A NO  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : thomas  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yeah??  
  
**little lion** : okay so like  
  
**little lion** : my signifs told me that you told them that james had a crush on me  
  
**little lion** : and I understand that you didn't want to tell me that bc you wanted to Protect Him but then mary was like haha Anyway after jane asked us if we were all dating and idk I just don't know what's?? going on??  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh I'm sorry alex  
  
**little lion** : haha I'm just confused  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : in the liquor store yesterday when you asked james to get that bottle for you, when he handed it to you he looked and smiled at you like the Sun and so I was like !!you like him!! and he tried to deny it but I know his Looks and I know how to deny a crush on you so I was like !!! and he admitted it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and then I told your signifs abt it and I asked them if they were Okay with it and they said they were and I asked them how to Do this and they said they had no idea and then I asked you about dating james and you said that you Probably Would if the offer was on the table  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and then you met my mom, mary, and jane and mary texted me right before we went to sleep and she asked me if all three of us were dating and I said I didn't know and she was v ??? but I went to bed before she could ask more questions and then you said how you were thinking of dating james and then earlier jane asked so mary was like ANYWAY bc she knew I didn't know how to answer  
  
**little lion** : okay  
  
**little lion** : okay thank you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'm sorry I confused you and lied to you  
  
**little lion** : you're okay  
  
**little lion** : I just wanted to know what was happening bc ???  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yeah speaking of I should,,,,probably tell james  
  
**little lion** : if you want to go on that date later I wouldn't say no  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : REALLY  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YAY  
  
**little lion** : I love you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : I still think it's too soon for you to know  
  
**little lion** : you spent nine years thinking it was too soon for thomas to know  
  
**little lion** : I spent almost two years thinking it was too soon for my signifs now to know  
  
**jmadzzz** : I don't want to ruin your relationship with thomas just because I have a crush on you  
  
**little lion** : you won't ruin it omg  
  
**little lion** : you'll just change it  
  
**little lion** : in the best ways possible  
  
**jmadzzz** : okay  
  
**little lion** : okay?  
  
**jmadzzz** : I don't know what I'm agreeing to but it's not like bad  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : PERHAPS YOURE AGREEING TO A DATE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : W I N E TASTING  
  
**little lion** : w h y are you like this  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I JUST WANT TO DRINK WINE WITH YOU AND THEN GET WINE DRUNK AND COME HOME AND CUDDLE THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER AND THEN WAKE UP TO WATCH THE BALL DROP  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : PREFERABLY WHILE WE MAKE OUT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND THEN CELEBRATE 2017 AND THE FACT THAT IM S O SCARED FOR IT BUT I HAVE YOU TWO SO I CAN IGNORE IT FOR THE TIME BEING  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : PLEASE  
  
**jmadzzz** : how are we getting back here From wherever you're taking us  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'll figure it out laTER  
  
**little lion** : oh my god  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'll go  
  
**little lion** : same  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I LOVE YOU BOTH S O  MUCH  
  
**little lion** : love you too!!  
  
**jmadzzz** : love you  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I REALLY DONT LIKE WHEN YOU DONT KNOW FOUR YEARS IN ADVANCE WHAT IM DOING RELATIONSHIPWISE  
  
**johnn** : ????  
  
**little lion** : IM GOING WINE TASTING WITH THOMAS AND JAMES LIKE AS A DATE AND IM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE  
  
**laf** : WE'RE HERE NOW  
  
**more like HUNKules** : GET IT  
  
**little lion** : AND IM NOT REALLY STRESSING ABOUT IT BUT IM LIKE TOTALLY STRESSING ABOUT IT  
  
**little lion** : WHAT DO I WEAR TO THIS  
  
**laf** : I wish we could be there to help you  
  
**little lion** : I'm wearing pastels  
  
**little lion** : I packed a garter belt in this color  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,gotta go  
  
**johnn** : oh dear god  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rip james and thomas  
  
**johnn** : but also send pictures  
  
**little lion** : you thought I'd wear pastel blue and not give you a chance to see it??  
  
**little lion** : who do you think I am  
  
**johnn** : bless  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : HAHA TFW THOMAS WAS DOWNSTAIRS ASKING HIS MOM ABT WHERE TO GO ~~WINE TASTING~~ AND YOURE TRYING TO FIND PANTS TO WEAR SO YOURE STANDING IN THE ROOM IN YOUR GARTER BELT  
  
**little lion** : AND JAMES WALKS IN  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
**little lion** : HE HOLDS HIS BREATH FOR LIKE A FULL TWENTY SECONDS BEFORE I ASK HIM IF HES GONNA WALK IN OR LEAVE BC SOMEONES GONNA PASS THE DOOR EVENTUALLY AND I WOULD PREFER IF THAT DIDNT HAPPEN  
  
**little lion** : SO HE WALKS IN AND NOW ITS AWKWARD BC IM STILL TRYING TO FIND PANTS AND HES STARING AT MY THIGHS AND I KNOW IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : to be fair they're very nice thighs  
  
**little lion** : fire  
  
**little lion** : hellfire  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YOU BOTH LOOK SO CUTE IM GOING TO CRY  
  
**little lion** : you're already crying  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : SHSHSHHSHSHHSHS  
  
**jmadzzz** : t h o m a s  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH  
  
**jmadzzz** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : idk if you already left for your date but good luck alex we love you!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : !!!  
  
**johnn** : !!!  
  
**little lion** : we're in the car on our way there now but thank you!! I love you so much!!  
  
**johnn** : love you too!!  
  
**laf** : also hercules drove me to walmart and I bought the lube and it looks so cool  
  
**johnn** : I stayed home and made dinner like a person bc they're ridiculous and I hate them  
  
**little lion** : you don't  
  
**johnn** : I want to  
  
**johnn** : i r i d e s c e n t  l u b e alex like why  
  
**little lion** : I just snorted I'm going to cry  
  
**laf** : maybe it's a good sign  
  
**laf** : you snorted on your first date with thomas  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and with us  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and yes I remember that  
  
**laf** : maybe it means ~~love~~  
  
**little lion** : maybe it means my nostrils hate me and have to Stop  
  
**laf** : that too  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : WINE TASTING IS SO FUN  
  
**more like HUNKules** : are you still doing it??  
  
**little lion** : NO WERE GETTING IN THIS CAR NOW TO GO BACK TO THOMAS' HOUSE AND WE'RE PROBABLY JUST GOING TO LIE AROUND UNTIL DINNER AND THEN WATCH THE BALL DROP  
  
**more like HUNKules** : aw that's cute  
  
**little lion** : thank you for being okay with this  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alex we love you and we support you no matter what  
  
**little lion** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : you're the best people I've ever know in my life  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we miss you  
  
**little lion** : I miss you too  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : tfw you go to take a bath in thomas' bathroom but before you do you kiss james bc you haven't yet and he's just staring at you as you walk away  
  
**little lion** : can I weaponize my kissing skills  
  
**laf** : honestly you should  
  
**little lion** : also this bubble bath you got me for christmas is v nice  
  
**laf** : I'm happy you like it  
  
**little lion** : not to be Redundant but like,,,,,,,I wish you were here with me,,,,,,idk it's v silent in this bathroom and my mind is like ""it wouldn't be if your signifs were with you"" and I'm like,,,,,yknow  
  
**little lion** : THATS COOL but at the same time it's TRAGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE  
  
**laf** : thomas,,,,probably would've gotten in the bath with you  
  
**little lion** : I'm not ready for him to see me naked in this soft of an environment  
  
**little lion** : you didn't actually bathe with me until four years into our relationship like I need time  
  
**laf** : I'm grateful that you trusted us enough  
  
**little lion** : <3 <3 <3  
  
**laf** : <3 <3 <3  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you look like you're in shock  
  
**jmadzzz** : THATS WILD  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : what kissing alex??  
  
**jmadzzz** : Y E S  
  
**jmadzzz** : HE KISSED ME FOR LIKE THREE SECONDS BUT MY HEART FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN ON A 25 YEAR LONG LONG JOURNEY AND I WASNT READY FOR IT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'd say you get used to it, but you don't it still feels like the first time he ever kissed me,,,occasionally  
  
**jmadzzz** : oh god  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : so get ready for that  
  
**jmadzzz** : pray for me  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : update: iridescent lube, not the worst  
  
**laf** : cALLED IT  
  
**little lion** : I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL THIS MESSAGE  
  
**laf** : SORRY  
  
**little lion** : WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS  
  
**johnn** : HSHSHSHSHSHHSHSSJDJK  
  
**little lion** : IM GOING BACK TO SLEEP  
  
**little lion** : ALSO JAMES IS VERY WARM I LOVE IT  
  
**laf** : AW  
  
**little lion** : GOODNIGHT  
  
**johnn** : it's six o'clock  
  
**little lion** : GOOD  
  
**little lion** : NIGHT  
  
\---  
  
**Mary** : THOMAS  
  
**Mary** : T H O M A S  
  
**Mary** : IM GOING TO COME INTO YOUR ROOM I SWEAR  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh god what time is it  
  
**Mary** : YOURE PHONE TELLS YOU THIS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : DID I ASK WHERE COULD I GET THE FUCKING TIME MARY  
  
**Mary** : ITS ELEVEN OCLOCK AND MOM HAS WANTED TO GO UP AND GET YOU FOR TWO HOURS NOW GET DOWN HERE BEFORE SHE MAKES ME COME UPSTAIRS AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A ROCK  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I AM MOMS FAVORITE CHILD  
  
**Mary** : NO YOURE JUST HER OLDEST BOY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : FUCK YOU  
  
**Mary** : GET  
  
**Mary** : DOWN  
  
**Mary** : HERE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : FINE WE'RE COMING  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : JE SU S  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : come doWN  
  
**little lion** : I don't w a n t  t o  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : MY MOM KEEPS ASKING AND I SAID YOU WERE COMING DOWN BUT LIKE  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ITS BEEN THREE MINUTES  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : WHICH IS THREE YEARS IN MY MOTHERS TIME  
  
**little lion** : but james is w a r m  
  
**jmadzzz** : and alex is so soft  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : is this what I signed up for??  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**jmadzzz** : pretty much  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : unbelievable  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : can I bribe you with ice cream  
  
**jmadzzz** : and we're up  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh my g  o d  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : COUNTDOWN COUNTDOWN COUNTDOWN  
  
**laf** : 10  
  
**more like HUNKules** : 9  
  
**little lion** : 8  
  
**johnn** : 7  
  
**laf** : 6  
  
**more like HUNKules** : 5  
  
**little lion** : 4  
  
**johnn** : 3  
  
**laf** : 2  
  
**more like HUNKules** : 1!!  
  
**little lion** : ITS 2017  
  
**johnn** : IM SO SCARED  
  
**laf** : SAME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : SAME  
  
**little lion** : SAME

**Author's Note:**

> haha this is so bad and makes No sense but I hope you liked it
> 
> also it's two parts!! and a new poly ship even though there are 5 parts left in this series!! haha save me!!


End file.
